The Question Behind the Question
Every question someone asks you is also a statement about how they think. Learning to hear the structure behind the content changes what you can do with the conversation.
Observations
Library
These are written as observations rather than essays — notes from the practice of making behaviour observable. Each one starts with something specific and stays specific.
Published notes — practical guides on values, meta programs, the Meta Model, the Milton Model and more — are on the Notes page.
Note: The articles below are in progress. Full text is being written — each excerpt represents the article’s actual direction. They will be published as they are completed.
Why Advice Rarely Works
Advice assumes the other person’s decision-making structure is the same as yours. It almost never is. Here’s what to do instead.
The Structure of Stuck
Feeling stuck isn’t the absence of options. It’s a specific internal configuration — a pattern of beliefs, values, and representations maintaining the current position. The configuration is observable.
What People Mean When They Say ‘I Don’t Know’
‘I don’t know’ is almost never literally true. It usually means: I haven’t accessed it yet, I don’t want to say, or I don’t have language for it. Each one requires a different response.
Before You Change a Behaviour
The instinct is to fix the behaviour. The more useful move is to find the structure producing it. Change the structure, and the behaviour changes as a side effect.
The Difference Between Knowing and Understanding
You can know a principle intellectually and still not have it available when you need it. The gap between knowing and understanding is a gap of internal representation, not information.
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